CCI columnist Mary Shirley looks back on her decade of managing people to dig up her top 10 tips for new managers dealing with the responsibility for the first time.
2024 marks my 10th year as a people manager. The individuals who comprise our teams entrust pieces of their career with us, and I don’t take that responsibility lightly. At this juncture I thought it would be worthwhile to reflect on the things I’ve learned and share advice for new managers who have direct reports for the first time.
1. Take the time to have career mapping conversations
I like to dedicate one-on-one meetings especially for this purpose at least once a quarter. The team member knows that this time is set aside to talk about their goals, including goals where I may no longer be in the picture so that we can strategize together on how to keep moving toward that goal.
2. Mark their milestones and care when they’re in sorrow
Important life events are going to happen throughout the course of the relationship with your team members. Marking them and celebrating where appropriate is meaningful. Now, I am someone who believes one can never have too much crockery or too many greeting cards. I delight in poring over and selecting just the right greeting cards in stationery stores. For those of you who aren’t, I recommend buying a box of all-occasion cards and storing them in your desk drawer to have on hand for sending out to your team to show care.
3. It’s my responsibility to provide professional development opportunities even (especially!) when our employer is unable to provide the budget for professional development
Look out for complimentary webinars from vendors to share with team members, teach junior staff something like what facilitation payments are and later ask them to explain the concept to you in their own words. Have lunch-and-learns inviting team members to share their strengths with others and hone their presentation skills. Mix things up by inviting in peers from other organizations to teach on both compliance topics and soft skills. Ask your team what skills they’d like to learn about and match them with someone in your network who is a pro with extensive experience and good stories in that area. Consider whether it might be relevant and worthwhile to invite staff from other departments to attend sessions on suitable topics to share the learning love more broadly.
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Read more4. The golden rule doesn’t always apply
I am someone who, if I didn’t already have too many coffee mugs (see: the second entry), would get a mug made that says “This meeting could have been an email.” I despise the time suck that is unnecessary meetings, and I have always felt I was doing everyone in the team a favor by having them only as required and canceling when there was nothing on the agenda. However, my introverted self has learned that some colleagues absolutely love the chance to get together and chinwag. With that in mind, now I like to ask colleagues about their preferences early. Not only does this include their preferences for communication and team meetings specifically but also topics like “How do you like to receive feedback?” at the outset of the relationship.
5. The hardest, most unpleasant thing you’ll ever have to do as a leader is end an employment relationship with a team member
It takes tremendous courage to acknowledge what needs to be done and do what’s in the best interests of the company and the rest of the team. This is the one part of the job that I don’t expect will ever get any easier, but understanding that it’s supposed to be hard can help you cope.
6. Explain feedback
My rule in reviewing the work of others is to avoid changing wording that may not quite be how I’d say it myself but that is technically correct. In the rare case where I might change something for stylistic reasons, I explain to the person why I’d like to make the adjustment. It can be disheartening to receive a document back with a whole lot of redlines, so be fair to the person taking a crack at the first draft. It’s always easier to mark up someone else’s work than write something from scratch.
7. Be immediately forgiving and supportive when mistakes are made
Most of the time, people already feel bad enough as soon as they’ve made a mistake. A gracious manager in those moments is a real gift. I know this because once I bungled something and my hands immediately flew up to my face and clapped against my cheeks, reminiscent of “Home Alone.” I held that pose while berating myself and felt my cheeks burn. After I collected myself, I shared my mistake with my manager, who was in another city. I braced myself for the response. “No worries,” came the swift reply, “We’ll get it back on track.” This highlights a bonus tip that when we are considering taking roles, a major consideration should be who you’re going to be reporting to. Will they teach you? Will they add value to your leadership journey with them as a mentor, inspiring you to be a better person? Many thanks to my former manager, Lisa Estrada, for teaching me the grace, which I try to emulate with my own teams.
8. Try walking meetings
For situations where it’s not necessary to refer to computer screens or screeds of documents, consider walking meetings, including for when you have team members scattered around the globe. I’ve seen some lovely farmland scenery in Germany from this vantage point. We sit on our rumps way too much; might as well walk and talk.
9. Remember the bad examples
Some of the best teachings about being a manager happen well before you ever get a direct report. The atrocious managers you’ve had in the past serve as anti-role models that help you to identify behavior you swear you’ll never indulge in. Think back on the poor leaders you’ve had from time to time for a reminder of what you will not tolerate and would never expect your team to tolerate either.
10. Kindness is always in style
This one is largely self-explanatory. I anticipate that we’re going to see more empirical evidence showing that kindness in the workplace has a tangible effect on the bottom line because a team that is engaged, valued and happy is going to work at its most optimal and gain more from participating in the workforce. What small perks and care can you proactively offer?
This is some of what I’ve learned so far. I think the expectations of what a good manager is like are likely to continue to evolve, and I humbly acknowledge that there’s always more to learn to be a better supporter and enabler of our teams.
